Featured Articles
Just Say Yes
by Nancy Gertz
Liv Fun: Vol 6 – Issue 1
In the words of Shakespeare, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” On our own private stage, we live out this reality in every scene and every conversation.
We all want to be understood, and we want to be heard. We seek validation and real connection, even when we aren’t terribly aware of these basic drives. When we tell someone good news, we want them to be happy for us. When we tell someone of our sadness, it helps to hear a warm reply, “Yes, I hear you are sad.”
But many of our conversations are thwarted by these all-too-familiar responses: “You think that’s good? My grandson graduated with highest honors!” “I’m glad someone is happy.” “Must be nice.” “That’s nothing … I need surgery next month!” “You don’t seem sad to me.”
Comments like these hijack good conversation and undermine our attempts at meaningful connections. We end up feeling angry, hurt, insulted, misunderstood, or any number of other well-worn forms of miserable.
A Lesson From an Improv Artist
We can learn a lot about creating better conversations from the men and women who study acting. According to comic Tina Fey, improvisational theater offers us life-actors a treasure chest of director’s do’s and don’ts that we can use to hone our conversational craft.
In her book Bossypants, Fey lays out one essential rule for inspired improvisation. The secret to moving an improv scene forward, according to Fey, is surprisingly simple: Say “Yes” or “Yes, and …” (Fey, 2011)
On the improv stage, if I tell you there is an (imaginary) apple in my hand, and you say, “No there isn’t!” then there is nothing more to add. The scene is dead. If I tell you there is an (imaginary) apple in my hand and you say, “Yes, that’s great; we ditched the apples when the boat sprung a leak, and now we need one to plug the hole!” then we have more to discover about each other and the story. The scene builds upward, and the characters go deeper.
Liv Fun
by Leisure Care
Spring 2017
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Shearing Narcissus
by Skye Moody
Every public appearance feels like the first. Stomach lurches usually strike days or even weeks before the actual event, as, gripped with stage fright, I imagine standing metaphorically naked before an audience that expects me to enthrall them. Some years ago, preparing for an important public appearance, eager to look the part of a first-time author delivering wisdom to her audience, I decide to visit a hair salon for some advice on what wisdom looks like.
The Gender Games We Play
by Brad Jensen
Imitation … it’s often said to be the sincerest form of flattery. It’s how we begin our lives, watching and learning from those around us. We observe our parents and siblings, soaking in the way they make their way through their world. And we follow suit. As we get a little older, our circle becomes a little bigger. With every interaction, our psyche is learning how to function in society as part of our journey to becoming autonomous, self-sufficient adults.
Just Say Yes
by Nancy Gertz
In the words of Shakespeare, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” On our own private stage, we live out this reality in every scene and every conversation. We all want to be understood, and we want to be heard. We seek validation and real connection, even when we aren’t terribly aware of these basic drives.