A Strategic Approach to Friendship

by Tammy Kennon

Liv Fun: Vol 4 – Issue 3

“No man is an island.” That sounds more like poetry (Donne, 1624) than the conclusion of a scientific research study. But, in fact, it’s the resounding conclusion of hundreds of them.

While it’s no surprise that social isolation can be detrimental to our emotional health, scientists are now finding surprisingly strong evidence that it can be deadly — as damaging to our health as smoking, alcohol abuse and obesity.

Conversely, researchers are finding that having strong social connections improves our health, helps us ward off disease, and demonstrably extends our lives. In fact, the mother of all studies, an aggregation of 148 studies, revealed the shocking news that strong social support increases the likelihood of survival by 50 percent. You read that right: 50 percent. And that remained constant regardless of age, sex, initial health status and the length of the studies — for 308,849 participants (Holt-Lunstand et al., 2010).

To fully reap these benefits, our social network must extend beyond the immediate family. German researchers found that while family interaction has a positive impact on life satisfaction, it comes with a counterbalancing negative effect. Social interaction outside the family network, on the other hand, boosts life satisfaction without any mitigating negative effects, especially for older adults. (Huxhold et al., 2014). Having a strong circle of friends is all good.

In other words, 21st-century science is proving what we already knew: Friendship is not just the butter on our bread; friendship is sustenance itself.

Unfortunately, as we age, our social circle undergoes a natural attrition. Over the years, as our lifestyle changes, we tend to shed friends without necessarily replacing them.

In addition, life’s major transitions can abruptly remove us from the safe embrace of our community, whether it’s a voluntary transition, like moving to a new city, or a transition imposed by circumstance, like moving into assisted living for health reasons. Either way, we are reminded of the value of companionship and the challenge of forming new relationships.

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Liv Fun

by Leisure Care
Autumn 2015
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Going Solo or Singing With the Choir?
by Elana Zaiman

Years ago I heard this story about an African tribe: When a woman in this tribe knows she’s expecting a child, she heads out into the wilderness with a few women friends, and they pray and meditate and listen for this child’s song. When they hear it, they sing it over and over again. And when they return to their village, they teach it to their entire community, so that when this child is born, everyone can sing this child into the world.

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by Skye Moody

My apartment building is cheek to jowl with Amazon’s main campus. When I peer out our bedroom window I look straight into Amazon offices. Just about anyone who lives in this neighborhood can say the same. One of Amazon’s drone testing sites is so close to my windows that I’ve actually witnessed two experimental package delivery fly-overs and occasionally wonder what I’d do if a drone accidentally crashed on my balcony.